Tree Removal in My Front Yard

This is a funny story and hopefully one I can keep short. I seem to have developed a knack for writing too much. See, there I go again.

The Red Oak tree is now gone. A flourishing garden is beginning to grow. There is only one more slight problem. A Red Maple with a rotten base remains. We get nervous about these trees because of the winter wind. Every time I heard a gust of wind last year when I was sleeping, my eyes would pop wide open because I was expecting a big “Crack” to follow. It never happened, but I really would like to get a good night sleep this go-round.

This tree wasn’t nearly as difficult to take down as the Oak. There were more, but smaller branches on this one. I said that I would do it slowly with a pole saw that I recently purchased. Sounds weird, but hear me out. I don’t have a wood chipper so I am forced to drag anything that I cut down all…the…way back in the woods to the rear most part of the property. That is about a 2 acre walk. It isn’t fun. I was determined to cut this tree down by myself because I had experience…yes, experience. I used to work at SavATree in Bedford Hills, NY when I was 18 years old and also C.V. Trees for many years after that. I knew how to climb and was actually quite good at it. I just didn’t have the right tools (ropes, saddle, spikes) anymore. But what I did have was my new chainsaw and pole saw.

To start things off, I extended the pole saw to it’s full 14 feet length. Then I took off about 5 of the lowest branches. I dragged them all the way back in the woods. This lightened up the tree. The next day, I took off about 5 more and dragged them back. Hmmmm, I was feeling motivated. I went back to cut some more. The pole saw really wouldn’t reach any more branches that easily. I was really motivated to get this tree on the ground because I had more pressing projects to get to. I had an idea…

I went into my basement and got my 15′ rope and tied it to the handle of my chainsaw. Then, I tied a knot at the other end of the rope. I put my 13′ ladder up against the tree. I climbed the ladder with the knot end of the rope in my hand and the chainsaw on the ground. I grabbed the lowest nub of wood that was about 15′ off the ground and climbed up to the lowest crotch of the tree. I sat there and then pulled up the rope with the chainsaw attached. I put the knot through a higher crotch so it was hanging. Then I climbed up the uppermost crotch and pulled the chainsaw to my hands. I started the saw and cut about half the branches off. I was on a roll. Then, I cut a pretty big one off and it landed on its end and fell backwards, knocking the ladder down. Hmmmm, that was a problem. Now I was up about 25 feet with no way of getting down. Oh well, I have been in worse situations. I kept cutting and about after 5 minutes all the branches were on the ground. I climbed down a bit to the lowest crotch and cut some more. Then came the challenging part…getting down. I lowered the chainsaw to the ground and let go. Then, I hugged the tree with my legs and the inside of my arms. I slid all the way down and looked at myself and smiled. Some scratches, but what a ride!

Now I had a nice big stump sticking out of the ground. I cut that bad boy down to watch it bounce off the ground and land perfectly where I wanted it.

I cut the wood up to give away to Paul and called it a day. I should’ve known the pole saw thing was never going to work. Why do I bother trying to do things slowly?

I guess this story wasn’t all that short after all…