Iron Maiden Troubles

I was just telling someone at work here a very funny story from my long torrid past. This is a good, but short, one.

Back in sixth grade, I had this girlfriend named Janet. I am not sure why I had a girlfriend at such an early time in my life…she may have seduced me. My story included how Janet and I had a massive note exchanging operation. It seemed like every time we saw each other, we passed notes to one another. I was also saying how I really never had anything to write because she was a grade above me and I really didn’t have anything in common with her. Why were we going out? I am not sure. Even though, receiving the notes was pretty fun because you just never know what you are going to get. Sadly, there wasn’t all that much good content.

I used to like to go to flea markets. The Stormville Flea Market was the best in the area. One time, when I went there (I think) with my good friend Rob (who never calls me anymore), I picked up an Iron Maiden t-shirt. I wasn’t really a metal band fan, but perhaps one day I could be. The real reason I bought one of these t-shirts was because they had the coolest graphics on them…I mean cool. The one I bought had those cool blue 3/4 sleeves with black material for the inside with a skull and chain graphic. This thing was badass.

One day, while wearing my new t-shirt and exchanging notes with Janet in middle school, I was approached by a dirtbag. You know who they are…the ones you stay away from. This dude comes up to me and fist grabs my t-shirt and pushes me against the wall. He said in a really tough voice, “Tell me one song that Iron Maiden plays.” I just stood there up against the wall looking around. How the hell would I know what Iron Maiden played? I was just wearing the damn shirt. I told him I had no idea and he said, “If I ever see you in this shirt again, I am going to kick your ass.” I thanked him for explaining the importance of knowing a little something about the band on the t-shirt you are wearing. Then, I grabbed his wrist, pulled it off my shirt and shoved him back a few feet. I stepped forward and karate kicked him in the chest. He fell on the floor and started to get up when I bent down and grabbed his hair. I gave his face two swift punches to break his nose and knock out two front teeth.

Ok, the last part didn’t happen. He let go and I walked away in shame. Janet still was my girlfriend, but we did break up a short time later. I am not sure if it had anything to do with this incident. I think we all know the lesson we should learn from this story. I’ll leave it there…