This is probably the most inflammatory blog post title I’ve ever written. But I swear, I didn’t do it. Keith Owen did and I’m just jumping on the bandwagon to get some reaction.
I’ve trained with plenty of women in my Jiu-Jitsu classes. I haven’t really ever thought anything of it. I mean, I didn’t say things like, “Hey, that’s a girl” as I scratched my belly. I’ve always understood that we all seek these things out for our own reasons and I was always happy to have anyone new to our classes. I’ve thought, and I still think that women are the primary, most untapped market in this sport. It mixes cardio, yoga and self defense. And Jiu-Jitsu’s extremely social. I actually don’t get why more women aren’t involved.
I just read a post written by Keith Owen entitled “Can Women Really Handle Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu?” I saw the link and duh, of course I clicked it. It’s like saying, “Should men go to church?” or “Why are white guys Democrats?” Posts and stories with titles like these are part of the reason we enjoy the internet so much. They’re juicy.
Keith writes that while women join his class and seem to enjoy it, “The ladies always stay for a short time but they ultimately quit.” I found that interesting.
At first, I thought of the females I’ve trained with and then I thought of the ones who’ve quit. Yeah, some have quit. But some have stayed too. And the ones who’ve stayed have earned stripes and belts and will continue to earn stripes and belts. I think they’re in it for the long haul.
I then thought of the guys I’ve trained with. And the ones who’ve quit. I have to tell you something that might shock you – a LOT of guys who’ve come through the doors of the schools I’ve trained at have disappeared into the abyss. I don’t know where they go, but I always enjoy the excuses they give for not coming back.
– I’m just too busy
– Too far away
– I’m scared
No one will really admit that last one, but if you get roughed up in a Jiu-Jitsu class and don’t return because of that, you might be scared, just a little. Scared of getting hurt or scared of the unknown. Who knows, but fear is involved.
Anyway, read Keith’s post and then come back here and let me know your thoughts. Is he spot on or is he way off? Are you a female who likes to train? Could wild horses drag you away? I’d like to know.
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My First Blue White Belt Stripe
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hmmm…I enjoyed the read of keiths blog “can women handle jiu jitsu.” as a female (purple belt) who trains bjj pretty much every day and I have for over 5 years, I can not imagine a day without bjj in it in some way. it is a tough and demanding sport but nothing is as rewarding at the end of it all!! I too wish that more women would try it and stay with it. I have yet to understand why once they start the don’t keep going. completely baffeling to me that anyone, especially a female wouldn’t want to feel more empowered, stronger and self reliant. the one thing I have seen is that it often looks as though more women “quit” than men but truly as a percentage that is NOT true, at least in my experience. my husband and I run a bjj school and in the five years of business the percentage of men quiting is actually slightly higher than women. it appears that more females quit because of the sheer numbers left standing on the mats. ie: 10 men join, half quit you still have 5 men on the mats….you have 2 women join and half quit you are only left with 1 women reppin on the mat. if I could find the magic word or perfect class to attract more females I would so do it!!! I have started an all female class only for them to fizzle out so I do not think that is the answer either…I just don’t know what is! all I know is that I LOVE everything bjj has to offer and everything it has brought to my life. we required both of our daughters to train and keep fresh their basic bjj skills before they were allowed to date :-), our son trains and teaches at our school. the BEST people I have met and are a pillars in my life I have met through this fabulous sport/life!!! Here’s to wishing more people find this lifestyle and stick with it!!! Vida Jiu~Jitsu!! thanks for the chance to ramble.
That, my friend, was an awesome ramble. And thank YOU for sharing the perspective we men only THINK we can speak for. We can’t, so we truly don’t know why some people stay or go.
I’ve always thought that if there’s some sort of a cardio/jitsu mix…more of a conditioning element, the females would like it more. I know my sister does cardio kickboxing up in Wilmington, NC. She wouldn’t do only kickboxing, so she’s very happy to have that cardio element attached. Just an idea, but again, I don’t know.
I do know that when I used to go to the gym during my college years, I’d walk in and see tons of guys at the weights and a whole line of girls on the stairmasters. I think they were after the “getting in shape” aspect to the gym, while we guys were after the pecs. I never did get the pecs though.
Of course, I was that girl using the free weights. A wizened, mustachioed, popeyeish man at the Y taught me why and how I should use them. The machines never fit my stature, anyway.
And here I am at Jiu jitsu. I’ve been injured and returned, humbled and inspired. It’s not for everyone, male or female. Period. I love it. Can I handle it? I like to think so.
Besides it would be awful strange to say: Jiu jitsu: penis required. I think that post says more about that specific gym atmosphere and instructor than it does about women in Jiu jitsu.
Off to class now. If you were in CT, you would be, too!
Nothing can drag me and away.
I’m bored with the notion that possible females couldn’t hack it.
Female grapplers are a superior breed. Bjj is a great activity for us because you can roll hard, and learn lots of techniques, while being strong and not damaging your face. The physicality does my shape GREAT & I dont feel scared in the street anymore. I used to always cower and the walk swiftly when I was leaving my work if I heard a noise. I used to be so afraid of them. Now they should be afraid of me. I don’t quiver and scurry and rush and peep out corners of my eyes anymore. I take my time when I lock the door, and I walk and enjoy my orange juice. I’m enjoying life so much since I got into bjj. Martial arts changed my life And introduced me to myself. The real me, I always wanted to be but didn’t think I could. If you take up Bjj long enough you will see if you’re a fighter or not. I had to try a few different schools before I found my house. People watch sherdog and ufc and have some pride,some boastfulness but no technique. They come to little gyms and open mats with their insecurities and violence. I used to feel so annoyed when a guy asked me WHY I. Came out to train. At first I wasn’t sure if they were trying to intimidate me or were they really that dumb.Sometimes it was both. This male entitled cockiness does sometimes still happen. You have just gotta try to kick thier ass and choke them brutally. Don’t make a mean face ,as a matter bat your eye lashes. I love to bat my eyelashes and smile. My actions speak volumes. People who aren’t serious always lose interest or find it difficult to manage the costs or the time. I’m a female and I always have my jiu jitsu fund on the side . I’ve gotten over the knowing that couple of hundred could have been spent on a cute outfit, a pedicure,spa treatment, a hairstyle, a night out on the town, a dress for my dog. New linen and bedset but I have my priorities and I don’t know how I balance and manage everything but I do. I’ve got my gas money / snacks / clean gis and panties/ a total entire fund and care package for survival during my menstruation. I always find the money to compete. This is what I want to do. So I do it! My family has come around now they are proud of me. Sometimes bjj causes problems dating though. The fact that I’m fearlessly going the distance in life makes weak men upset. With moving up and positive feedback they got jealous. Its so much easier for a guy, So if they want to do bjj or MMA they should do it. Follow your dreams, perfect your self instead of worrying about women’s issues.ANY women who get submitted,roll, get thier hair messed up, get bruised and keep returning is there for the love of the sport. I am balancing bjj , beauty, going for my masters degree., and working full time . I met women who are wives and mothers and competitors. They work, they raise kids and do jiu jitsu ….and then I meet a steroidal neck guy in a tap out shirt that takes a bunch of Facebook pics next to punching bags its Ok , doesn’t train consistently but has a nerve to express skepticism over female students. Guys have less expenses than us females, they don’t get pregnant and have to take a break and return. .Every one is always applauding men practicing, athletic males are society accepted more as normal. People don’t realize female grapplers get negative comments and reception outside the academy. Sometimes people assume we are gay. Or that we want to be men , the more you train..the more fit we get. Some people say anything to women. I been at it 6 years..& I’ve been told at random.. That I spent too much money on jiu jitsu, I should stop and do something feminine. I’d be so pretty if I wore make up and quit training. I do wear makeup and I’m not stopping the training any time soon.
and any idiotic macho punks should stop worrying about if women are as serious as them. We keep showing up right? We aren’t going anywhere.