A Car Named Linda

This post really has nothing to do with anything, but I thought it might be wildly funny. That’s right…WILDLY funny!

I was on my way to the supermarket yesterday around 5PM. I was driving in one direction and this little Suzuki SUV thing (you know, the little ones that you can buy your eight year old son to drive around the front lawn…kidding, it was a real car) is driving in the opposite direction towards me. As the car gets closer, I see this girl sitting in the driver’s seat. The seat was leaning back somewhat and she was looking real cool. You know the type. I also think the Suzuki was pink. Do you have the vision? Ok, as the car got closer and I noticed something about four feet wide written across the windshield in white. It said “Linda” in script. So there we have it, this cool girl driving a pink Suzuki with her name four feet wide written across her windshield. Now, mind you, this is an area of New York where there are lots of farms. There is a good chance this girl lives on a farm. Can you imagine being her hard working father, who owns farm tractors and corn fields, having to see this pink car in the driveway every morning?

Now, I am a reasonable person who doesn’t like to get excited about little things like this. Sure, people who know me may argue with that last claim, but they know, in their heart of hearts, that I am extremely even tempered. Seeing this car named “Linda” got me thinking. How much did that sticker cost? What would provoke someone to do this to their car? I am not saying that I have never been that age and never did things like this, but now that I am older and wiser, I feel that I have earned the right to give my opinion on these types of things.

It just so happens that Laura and I just finished an hour long conversation about what makes the poor, poor and what makes the rich, rich. Of course there was politics thrown in there all the while. Laura and I work very hard to make our money and, like other hard working people, we have opinions on how our money should be spent by our government, whether it be local, state or federal. We also, probably unjustified”ly”, have opinions on how other people should spend their money. C’mon, you do too. What about your idiot brother who just bought another…whatever. I don’t want to get into politics here because half of the people reading this post will end up hating me and the other half will end up loving me. Let’s just say I am very “middle of the road” on most things. How’s that? I am confident that what I write in this post, most people have thought at some time or another in their lives.

Back to the hot Suzuki. I am going to make a wild leap here…because I work in advertising, I think I can make an educated guess. This girl who drives the Suzuki doesn’t make all that much money. People who make good livings don’t buy pink Suzukis. Considering the fact that she was of the age to write her name across the windshield (four feet wide) tells me that she is in her late teens – early twenties. Knowing the town that I live in, I am also fairly confident that if this girl has a job, it is most likely at the one supermarket that we have or, if not there, in the hardware store or the Chinese restaurant. Either way, she couldn’t make more than $7 an hour.

Now, pardon me for dissecting this split second of my life, but I think this little microcosm explains a lot about America. Have you ever wondered why the neighbor that is having their house foreclosed on has two brand new SUVs in their driveway? Have you ever wondered why your friend with $60,000 worth of debt on their credit cards just took off for a week long vacation in Italy? Have you ever wondered why someone you KNOW has no money has more stuff and lives someplace nicer than you? This is America and the car named “Linda” explains it all.

Let me explain what went through my very even tempered mind the minute that car passed me (in order):

1. I have to write a blog post about this
2. Look at that girl, she so bad…she gets three snaps in “Z” formation
3. I hate those Suzukis
4. What the heck is that on her windshield?
5. Oh man, who the heck writes their name on their car?
6. There must be something wrong with her
7. No, probably not
8. Who buys a pink car?
9. Her
10. What gives someone, who probably works at either the supermarket, the hardware store or the Chinese restaurant, and who probably has 32 cents in their pocket, and who probably lives on a farm with hard working parents, and who probably isn’t doing well in school, and who probably has all the wrong friends, and who isn’t planning on going to college, and who probably knows someone on public assistance, and who will probably BE ON public assistance one day, and who may be a real sweetheart but just misguided, and who needs to get her priorities together and listen to her parents once in a while, the right to spend the money she doesn’t have to put her name across the windshield of her pink Suzuki?

I concede, that was a crazy set of thoughts. You be the judge. It may be the result of an hour long political discussion of poor people and rich people and after eleven hours of working diligently on a Sunday to grow my business.

Wasn’t that funny?