Iron Maiden Troubles
August 24, 2007 – 1:01 pm | by gaulardcom
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I was just telling someone at work here a very funny story from my long torrid past. This is a good, but short, one.
Back in sixth grade in Brewster, I had this girlfriend named Janet. I am not sure why I had a girlfriend at such an early time in my life…she may have seduced me. My story included how Janet and I had a massive note exchanging operation. It seemed like every time we saw each other, we passed notes to one another. I was also saying how I really never had anything to write because she was a grade above me and I really didn’t have anything in common with her. Why were we going out? I am not sure. Even though, receiving the notes was pretty fun because you just never know what you are going to get. Sadly, there wasn’t all that much good content.
I used to like to go to flea markets. The Stormville Flea Market was the best in the area. One time, when I went there (I think) with my good friend Rob (who never calls me anymore), I picked up an Iron Maiden t-shirt. I wasn’t really a metal band fan, but perhaps one day I could be. The real reason I bought one of these t-shirts was because they had the coolest graphics on them…I mean cool. The one I bought had those cool blue 3/4 sleeves with black material for the inside with a skull and chain graphic. This thing was badass.
One day, while wearing my new t-shirt and exchanging notes with Janet in middle school, I was approached by a dirtbag. You know who they are…the ones you stay away from. This dude comes up to me and fist grabs my t-shirt and pushes me against the wall. He said in a really tough voice, “Tell me one song that Iron Maiden plays.” I just stood there up against the wall looking around. How the hell would I know what Iron Maiden played? I was just wearing the damn shirt. I told him I had no idea and he said, “If I ever see you in this shirt again, I am going to kick your ass.” I thanked him for explaining the importance of knowing a little something about the band on the t-shirt you are wearing. Then, I grabbed his wrist, pulled it off my shirt and shoved him back a few feet. I stepped forward and karate kicked him in the chest. He fell on the floor and started to get up when I bent down and grabbed his hair. I gave his face two swift punches to break his nose and knock out two front teeth.
Ok, the last part didn’t happen. He let go and I walked away in shame. Janet still was my girlfriend, but we did break up a short time later. I am not sure if it had anything to do with this incident. I think we all know the lesson we should learn from this story. I’ll leave it there…
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Tags: middle school, Music
2 Responses to “Iron Maiden Troubles”
By Miguel on Aug 24, 2007 | Reply
If I were there, I would have protected you from the dirtbag. Instead of the jumping karate kick, maybe you could have used the “vulcan pinch” from star trek, that would have been cool.
By gaulardcom on Aug 26, 2007 | Reply
I would’ve tried the vulcan pinch, but it failed me in an earlier altercation. About a year prior to this encounter, a similar type dirtbag was messing with me. I went to give him the vulcan pinch and I pinched the wrong spot. This left an opening for him to nearly strangle me.